What is Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), and can I recover and heal?
CEN can be difficult to recognize because by definition CEN is comprised of the things we needed growing up that WE DID NOT RECEIVE rather than things that WERE DONE TO US. Many of us grew up in emotionally neglectful families. Here are some of the messages that we received:
* Your feelings are invisible and don’t matter.
* Your wishes, wants and needs are not important.
* Receiving support or help is not an option.
No two people with CEN are the same, but we share some fundamental commonalities:
* I’m uncomfortable or unaware of my emotions
* I sense deep down that I am different
* I struggle to let others know me and help me
* I show up for others more than for myself
* I’m not experiencing deep meaningful relationships
If these statements reflect how you feel and behave, then you are struggling with that invisible force that unites us all: Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).
Here Are The Four Stages of Recovery from Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN):
Recognize and Accept Your Childhood Emotional Neglect
The first step is becoming aware of what’s missing emotionally. This can occur even when we were raised with loving, well intentioned parents (they just didn’t get what they needed either, and they couldn’t give what they never received). It’s also important to become aware of the impact your upbringing has on your current life and relationships now.
Break Down The Wall
This wall helped you cope through an emotionally neglectful childhood by pushing your emotions down and away. However, now this wall blocks you off from yourself (experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions) and experiencing healthy connection in meaningful relationships.
Learn to Identify, Use and Manage Your Emotions
For survivors of CEN, emotions are like learning a new language. We start off with a new vocabulary (the wide range of emotions you’ve not been experiencing) and journey through the meaning and syntax of these unexplored feelings. Once we begin recognizing our emotions and welcoming them over the wall, we can begin to allow them to work for us rather than the suppressed emotions controlling us from behind the wall.
Connect and Deepen Your Relationships
Because CEN survivors struggle to connect to their own emotions, they miss out on deeply connected and healthy relationships with others. First, you must connect to your emotions
and experience yourself as a valid human being and then you’re ready to connect with others in meaningful and healthy relationships.
We Can Help You Heal from Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)
You are not alone and taking step after step together, we will walk through these stages to change your life and help you heal.
If you are ready to start your CEN healing journey, please consider Crossroads Phoenix and Scottsdale Counseling Centers. You can start your journey by following these steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling for a complimentary 20-minute phone consult
- Meet with CEN counselor, Pam Smith, as soon as possible.
- Start your CEN healing journey today.
Our offices are located in Anthem, and Scottsdale. Call us at 623-680-3486, text 623-688-5115, or email info@crossroadsfcc.com.