Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.
Are You And Your Partner Approaching Marriage?
Are you and your partner engaged to be married? Do you find yourself excited, yet sometimes overwhelmed by the thought of the upcoming change? Are you happy with your relationship, but want to make sure that you and your partner have a strong foundation for your marriage from the very beginning? Have you and your partner communicated and agreed on important topics like the management of finances, parenting philosophies, and life goals?
Perhaps you are engaged, but are already having some trouble communicating effectively. You and your partner may have a relationship built on love, but struggle to find common ground with day-to-day issues. You may find yourselves establishing unhealthy patterns and are unsure of how to get out of them.
Do you want to make sure that you and your fiancée are prepared for the changes that marriage brings? Are you concerned that your relationship is not strong enough for this next step? Do you want to start your marriage with a strong foundation in your relationship?
Premarital Counseling Helps Couples Build A Strong Foundation
Making the transition from an engagement to a marriage is a big adjustment, even if you and your partner feel you are ready for it. Many couples find that transitioning into day-to-day life with their partner can be more difficult than expected. Seeking premarital counseling can help make this transition more smooth by building a strong foundation of understanding, respect and shared values.
At Crossroads, we are passionate about working with couples who are committed to making the most of their relationship, which is why we offer premarital counseling. We understand the significant changes that accompany the transition to married life and have experience helping couples make that transition smoothly. Our therapists first work to get to know you as a couple in a safe and open environment, then help you pinpoint areas of your relationship that can benefit from change. We believe that with counseling and the right therapist, we can help you and your partner improve your emotional connection, communication, level of intimacy, and overall bond before you enter into marriage.
Crossroads Personalizes Premarital Counseling To Each Couple
One of the signature approaches that Crossroads offers is a program that we call “Prepare-Enrich.” This program starts with you and your partner filling out a comprehensive questionnaire about your relationship. The online questionnaire generates a report that is sent to your Crossroad’s counselor. Your counselor then uses the questionnaire to compile a strong understanding of your relationship before proceeding with counseling. This allows your counselor to personalize your sessions specifically to your relationship’s needs from the beginning.
We have seen couples experience incredible success through the “Prepare-Enrich” program because it covers some of the most essential foundational aspects of a relationship: communication, conflict resolution, and expected roles. Overall, its function as a comprehensive assessment tool shows your strengths as a couple as well as your areas for growth. The combination of this tool along with emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) helps you and your partner understand deeper aspects of your relationship as you take the step forward toward marriage.
“Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” (SYMBIS) is another curriculum Crossroads offers for premarital counseling. The SYMBIS Assessment is built on a growing mountain of research that reveals what is most effective when it comes dating relationships, pre-marital and marriage education. The main component of the program is an online assessment you each can complete in about 35-40 minutes. It explores a full range of issues – from relatively simple and static dimensions such as longevity of the relationship, critical skill-sets such as communication, and all of the complexities of joining two sets of personality dynamics. All in all, SYMBIS Assessment covers more than two-dozen particular dimensions based upon research studies that will help you with your therapist to: identify strengths and growth areas, explore personality traits, strengthen communication skills, resolve conflicts and reduce stress, compare family backgrounds, comfortably discuss financial issues, and establish personal, couple, and family goals. Some of these issues deserve more time and attention than others and the structure of the SYMBIS report will help you naturally sequence through them in an organized manner and at a natural pace, allowing you and your therapist to drill down on issues of particular relevance to your marriage.
Alternatively, if you and your partner already find yourselves struggling with communication or conflict going into your marriage, premarital counseling can help you as well. There are many common pitfalls that most couples grapple with. Our role at Crossroads is to help you identify these reoccurring issues and determine a constructive way to handle them in the present and in future.
The valuable third-party perspective that a therapist provides helps you and your partner recognize unhealthy patterns that you find yourselves unable to break free from. Once these unhealthy patterns are put to rest, there is more room in your relationship for establishing a strong foundation.
Couples who go through premarital counseling give themselves the opportunity to secure a strong foundation in their relationship before marriage. With willingness and the right therapist, you can be more prepared to step forward into marriage confidently and successfully.
But You May Still Have Questions Or Concerns…
We don’t have any problems. Why do we need premarital counseling?
Premarital counseling is not for those in crisis, it’s for those committed enough to long-term happiness that they choose to invest in it. Every relationship can use some work. We all have blind spots or areas that could use improvement in life that we have a difficult time seeing for ourselves. That is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Many times it takes a third-party perspective to recognize theses specific patterns. Our Crossroads therapists can provide this valuable perspective in an open, constructive atmosphere. The decision to seek counseling as you approach marriage is simply a proactive approach to your relationship.
Does seeking premarital counseling mean that we don’t have a good relationship?
Seeking premarital counseling simply means that you care enough about your relationship to learn new ways to work together better. Working with committed couples is one of our passions at Crossroads. We do everything we can to help you and your partner be your best together. Our therapists personalize their approach with each couple and provide you with new approaches and tools to help you be successful in your relationship.
We’re trying to save money, especially with the cost of the wedding coming up. Premarital counseling doesn’t seem worth the cost.
The short-term cost of premarital counseling is minimal when compared with the long-term benefit. Seeking counseling as a couple early is an investment in the longevity and happiness of your marriage. It is important to enter into this time of life with a strong foundation that can be built on over the years. Our Crossroads therapists can help you establish what that foundation means to you and your partner.