There are no simple answers here. We all are different — as are our circumstances — thus, we may struggle with different emotions. For the purposes of this post, we will focus on five feelings that would end up near the top of most people’s lists. Of course, there are variations and overlap, but anger, fear, sadness, guilt, and shame can very frequently spiral out of control.
There are societal expectations along with norms that relate to different cultures, genders, ages, and more. Simply put, these five emotions can cause reactions and behaviors that do not reflect the best we have to offer.
5 of the Hardest Emotions to Control
Anger
Displays of rage can appear as threatening, immature, or simply inappropriate. Therefore, our culture frowns upon expressions of anger — with exceptions. Movie characters, athletes, and war heroes, for example, are beloved for letting loose. The rest of us are left to struggle with feelings that we’re conditioned to suppress.
But, of course, anger will eventually emerge. It might be aimed at someone we deem to be responsible, aimed at a random object, or aimed inward at ourselves. The longer we push anger down, the harder it becomes to control.
Fear
In our grand design, fear exists to protect us. We must be able to identify danger if we wish to survive. However, we live in an age where trauma is increasingly common. We’re judged 24/7 by complete strangers online. Entire industries exist to keep us scared and compliant. As a result, it’s harder than ever to control fear — even when the threat we perceive isn’t even real.
Sadness
Generally speaking, modern humans avoid going too deep when discussing topics like grief or sorrow. We feel self-conscious. The people around us don’t know what to do or say. Something like depression can be perceived as a “weakness.” So, we distract ourselves in the hope that we can override our sadness by scrolling, staying busy, or self-medicating. Like any strong emotion, sadness will not cooperate when being controlled. It will make its presence felt in one form or another.
Guilt
Everyone messes up. It’s inevitable and normal. How we respond to our mistakes is less predictable. Guilt has the potential to teach us powerful lessons while motivating us toward self-improvement. Just as often, guilt can be the harbinger of more emotions like anger, sadness, fear, and shame. Speaking of shame…
Shame
It’s commonly said that we feel guilt about something we’ve done, but shame reflects a negative judgment of ourselves. You might see it as you make yourself the scapegoat for any or all of the above four emotions. Shame is typically less obvious than other emotions, so our desire to control it is less driven by external forces. Rather, we hate how it makes us feel, so we seek out any method to quiet the thoughts that may start a spiral. Controlling shame, however, is very difficult to accomplish on your own.
Learning Emotional Regulation
The above list may resonate with you. Perhaps instead, you have another emotion that feels like your nemesis. What matters more than the specific emotions is your desire and ability to regulate them. Uncomfortable feelings will inevitably threaten to bring out the worst in you. It makes the most sense to connect with a skilled mental health professional to develop coping skills that can be applied in virtually any scenario.
One person may struggle with guilt, while another has anger issues. Both can benefit greatly by learning to name their feelings and then addressing those emotions in a healthy, productive manner. If emotional regulation is keeping you from living your best life, I’m here to help.
Begin Working With A Therapist in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Online in Arizona
Our team of caring therapists offers a 20-minute complimentary phone call. You can ask all the questions you have and see if counseling at our Phoenix, Anthem, Scottsdale.and online in Arizona is the right fit for you. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling for a complimentary 20-minute phone consult
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Learn how to process and manage your emotions
Feel free to call contact us at by calling 623-680-3486, texting 623-688-5115, or emailing info@crossroadsfcc.com.
