Whether it happened during their early childhood or just last week, males of all ages face abuse. How often? Well, that’s not always easy to discern. In a culture that mostly frowns upon men displaying anything that could be considered “weakness,” plenty of trauma and abuse remains unreported. It’s something that happens to victims, so the story goes.
Meanwhile, men struggle with many of the same post-abuse mental health outcomes as women. In addition, they have a unique version of shame and stigma to manage. Therefore, they downplay their own experiences and get in the habit of using dismissals like “it’s no big deal.”
3 Reasons Why Men Remain Silent About Abuse
- Stereotypes: As touched on above, there are universal expectations for how men respond in a crisis. Such standards are unfair and contribute mightily to a hesitancy to go public.
- Not Taken Seriously: Women already face much suspicion and skepticism. Men may look at them and imagine they’d be automatically disbelieved.
- Lack of Support: The societal safety net keeps shrinking. On top of that, even close friends may not fully comprehend the scope of what an abused man is dealing with.
Another Big Reason Why Men Remain Silent About Abuse
Abuse affects a man’s mental health. In a compromised state, it can feel impossible to get the help you need. When you get so-called advice like “move on” or “be strong,” it’s a form of gaslighting that can deepen the emotional wounds.
Dealing with your past can involve many approaches. We might spend too much time hanging onto our perceived failures or even missed chances. The common (and often best) advice is to try moving on. However, there are past events that need far more attention and work. Recovering from trauma requires us to drag the past out into the light.
Abuse and trauma — at any age — can alter how a man sees himself. When “real life” has been a source of suffering, men may choose dissociation as a dysfunctional coping mechanism. They go through the motions rather than think deeply about the events that have caused such a detached state.
The mere thought of pursuing a relationship or close friendship feels dangerous, but not as dangerous as talking about their emotions. If abused men maintain an identity at all, it’s that of the perpetual victim. This takes a major toll on their day-to-day mental well-being.
Self-Help Steps to Consider
As trapped as you may feel, there are proven paths toward healing. Connecting with a trauma-informed therapist is ideal when you need input on getting into the self-love business. Some of the steps you may consider are:
- Daily Self-Care: Committing to a regimen will help you build the reliance you need to face the memories. At the same time, your self-care routines are a powerful reminder that you are well worth the effort.
- Acceptance: Denial is tempting, but the sooner you acknowledge what happened, the sooner you can start your recovery.
- Communication: When you enhance your communication skills, you become better able to name and talk about your emotions.
Such suggestions can become a wonderful complement to the treatment you receive from an experienced mental health professional.
Getting the Help You Need and Deserve
You are not to blame for the abuse you’ve endured. At the moment, you may not believe this fact and thus, you fear others will also doubt you. In the safety of a therapy room, you can discover new ways of understanding what happened and how you can heal. Yes, it’s daunting, but it’s also just a phone call away. One of our therapists who work with men would love to talk with you soon about the possibilities. Our team of therapists understand that the decision to start therapy can be intimidating. This is why we are happy to offer a complimentary 20-minute phone consultation. Our locations for men’s counseling are located throughout the valley with counseling centers located in Phoenix, Anthem, Scottsdale and online in Arizona. You can start your therapy journey with Crossroads Counseling by following these simple steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling for a complimentary 20-minute phone consult
- Meet with a therapist that specializes in working with men
- Start your journey towards healing
Feel free to learn more about our practice by visiting our about page, FAQ, and blog, or read more about our staff members to start finding your best therapeutic fit! or, call us at 623-680-3486, text 623-688-5115, or email info@crossroadsfcc.com for more information!
