The general vibe these days is not exactly mindfulness. You don’t encounter many folks savoring the present moment. Rather, a sort of exhibitionist multi-tasking seems to be the new normal. Everyone seems mighty busy and they have the social media posts to prove it. Non-stop deadlines, notifications, obligations, and plans — it’s a sure-shot recipe for stress.
But guess what? Changing this dynamic starts with a single word: No. You must be willing to say it, of course, but it only takes one word to level the playing field. Saying no can turn you from feeling overwhelmed to enjoying a healthy amount of balance.
Why Say “No”?
When asked to do yet another thing — or more of something you’re already doing — it helps to contemplate the personal value of saying yes. Do you enjoy this kind of work? Do you have time? Will it bring you closer to an important goal?
If you’re only doing something out of obligation or to present a certain image, find a polite way to decline. It can reduce your stress level which, in turn, is incredibly beneficial to your mental and physical well-being. A few factors to consider as you hone your saying-no skills:
- You’re not being selfish. Everyone has the right to set boundaries and no two people have the same threshold for work or activities.
- If it’s work-related, declining a request could open doors for someone else to get a chance.
- It will also give you more opportunities to try activities that you’ve set aside in your search to never be idle.
How to Say “No”
Return to the first item on the list above. You’re not being selfish and thus, have nothing to feel guilty about. From there, you can move to two important methods of assessment:
- Cost-Benefit Analysis: Will “yes” lead to stress?
- Take Your Time: Don’t let anyone rush you. If they need an immediate answer and you’re just not sure, that sounds like a “no” situation.
Once you’ve opted to say no, be clear. Say “no” instead of something like “I’m not sure.” Keep your reply brief, respectful, and honest. Don’t make up a story in order to run a request or invitation.
How Saying “No” Can Reduce Stress
Less Work
The most obvious benefit is that you have the time back that you would’ve allocated to handling the latest request. You can rest and recover. You can delegate more time to existing projects. Suddenly, your daily life involves less stress than you’ve become accustomed to.
The People in Your Life Will Be Happy
Your friends, family, and other loved ones will appreciate you being less busy. They want you to be less stressed and they now have more time to enjoy with you. When the relationships in your life are going smoothly, it also serves to decrease stress. We’re talking about a true win-win situation.
Better Overall Health
Life without balance leads to mental and physical burnout. The irony here is that driving yourself that hard can cause you to get exhausted and/or sick. In turn, this reduces the quality of your efforts.
In other words, by increasing the volume of your work, you the lower both the quality of your work and the quality of your life.
Saying “No” = Easier Said than Done
There are so many reasons why you don’t say “no” more often. It could be workplace dynamics or perhaps you weren’t raised to be assertive. You could also harbor a self-sabotaging need to compete — and win. Talking with a therapist is an ideal way to explore these underlying reasons and create changes in your life.
Begin Working With A Therapist in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Online in AZ
Our team of caring therapists offers a 20-minute complimentary phone call. You can ask all the questions you have and see if counseling at our Phoenix, Anthem, Scottsdale.and online in Arizona is the right fit for you. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling for a complimentary 20-minute phone consult
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Start the process of learning how to set boundaries in your life
Feel free to call contact us at by calling 623-680-3486, texting 623-688-5115, or emailing info@crossroadsfcc.com.