What Are Boundaries And How Can They Help You?


Most people have a basic idea of what boundaries are. However, they’re often viewed as “negative” things or ways to keep people away.

That’s rarely the case.

Instead, boundaries are limits between you and other people. The purpose of a healthy boundary is to maintain your sense of self and keep your identity. Boundaries help you prioritize your physical and mental health. They can keep you from burning out, strengthen your relationships, and help you avoid toxic ones.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

If you’re not setting healthy boundaries in your life and you feel your physical or mental wellness struggling, it could be time to put some into place.

With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at how boundaries can help you.

You’ll Boost Your Self-Esteem

Setting boundaries allows you to focus on yourself and your well-being. However, it’s also one of the best ways to boost your self-esteem.

You’ll feel more confident in yourself when you stop letting others invade your emotional space. Some relationships in your life can be harmful to your confidence levels. They can make you feel small by belittling you or making you feel like you need that person to get ahead.

When you start to set boundaries with that person/people, you’ll see how strong you really are.

A Greater Sense of Identity

Speaking of inner strength, boundaries are also great for restoring your sense of self and establishing a clearer identity. If you’ve been dependent on others for a long time (especially in a romantic partnership), setting boundaries will offer you independence.

Boundaries will also help you rediscover who you are, what you enjoy, and what you want for yourself in the future.

Far too often in relationships where there are no boundaries, it’s easy to lose your identity. Your personal values might start to mesh with your partner or even close friends, and you might not recognize yourself without them.

It can take some time to rediscover yourself and find your identity again, but setting healthy boundaries is a good place to start.

More Control Over Your Life

We live in a world where so many things are out of our control. Unfortunately, that can lead to feelings of anxiety and contribute to excess stress.

When you set boundaries, you’re also taking control over certain areas of your life. You’re not allowing people to “walk over you” or expect things from you that you’re not ready to give.

By taking control in this way, you can reduce your stress levels and avoid getting burnt out. You’ll also feel more empowered while having the free time to do more things for yourself without worrying about pleasing others.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries don’t have to be harsh. Don’t keep yourself from setting them because you’re worried about hurting people’s feelings or damaging relationships.

If you want to set healthy boundaries, be clear and direct with the people in your life about your needs. Make it about you, not them. Most people will respect those needs and your limits. Those who don’t might not be healthy permanent fixtures in your life, anyway. Those who value your relationship will take your requests seriously and not overstep them.

If you’re having trouble setting boundaries or you want to learn more about how they can help you, feel free to contact me. It’s not always easy to form boundaries on your own when you’ve been dependent for a long time. Together, we’ll work on effective ways to establish them so you can take control of your life and experience the confidence you deserve.

Begin Working With A Therapist in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Online in AZ

Our team of caring therapists offers a 20-minute complimentary phone call.  You can ask all the questions you have and see if counseling at our PhoenixAnthem, Scottsdale.and online in Arizona is the right fit for you. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:

  1. Contact Crossroads Counseling for a complimentary 20-minute phone consult
  2. Meet with a caring therapist
  3. Start the process of learning how to set boundaries in your life

Feel free to call contact us at by calling 623-680-3486, texting 623-688-5115, or emailing info@crossroadsfcc.com.