There’s a faint white line on your finger where a ring used to be. The picture frames in your home that once held smiling faces are now filled with stock images of complete strangers.
Your house no longer feels like a home. Instead, it feels like someone cut it straight in half. Your drawers and closet which once held clothing in various sizes now only hold a size familiar to your frame. Everything feels a little bit more empty, yourself included.
You’re trying to pick up the pieces and make sense of it all. It’s a long road to recover from infedelity and the trauma stemming from it. Let’s learn a little bit more about where to begin, and how to recover.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Infidelity can make you feel like you’re dreaming or living out a nightmare. Most of the time, it can come out of nowhere, leaving you completely in shock. While it may feel easier to bury all of the different thoughts and feelings that you’re experiencing, that’s only a short-term solution. And unfortunately, not acknowledging those thoughts and feelings can cause you to feel worse in the long run. Healing starts with acknowledging what happened. While it may be painful, it’s an important step to begin the healing process.
Allow Yourself to Feel
All of the emotions that you feel after experiencing something like infidelity can make you feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. You may experience things like relief, but for the most part, a lot of what you will feel may be hard and unpleasant. Emotions like sadness, shame, humiliation, grief, anger, and even sickness may consume you. Just like acknowledging your feelings, it may seem easier to bury all of these feelings deep, down inside, but it’s important to allow yourself to feel them. Call your emotions for what they are. Admitting to yourself that you’re feeling a certain way can help these emotions feel a little less scary.
Lean On Your Loved Ones
Another action that is common with infidelity is withdrawing or isolating yourself. You may not want to talk about what you’re going through, even with loved ones. While this is completely okay and even normal, it doesn’t mean that you still can’t let others be there for you during this time. You may want someone to just be in the same room as you. You may want a shoulder to cry on. Maybe you’re seeking advice. Or you may feel ready to open up and talk about what happened and how you’re feeling. Let your family and friends show up for you however you need them to.
Take Care of Yourself
During times of high stress, it’s extremely important to take care of yourself. Big life changes like this can cause your world to feel like it’s turning upside down. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself during this time. It can be easy to sit in your emotions and not take care of yourself. Try to make sure that you’re fueling your body properly so that it can function to the best of its ability.
This means not skipping meals or binging on snacks that are high in sugar or fat. You should be trying to eat between 3-5 healthy and well-balanced meals throughout your day. Your anxious thoughts may be keeping you up at night. Try to get on a good sleep schedule and routine by going to bed at the same time each night and waking up around the same time each morning so that you can get at least eight hours every single night.
Taking care of yourself also means focusing on what you need. Self-care can be extremely important and essential during times of high stress as well. Use this time to make sure you’re meeting your wants and needs but also figuring out what you want next. Any decision is completely up to you, and you shouldn’t feel rushed or pressured to make any decisions until you’re ready.
Seek Additional Support
Experiencing infidelity trauma can be a difficult time to navigate. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Therapy can be a great option to help you work through those various thoughts and feelings to move forward again. When you’re ready, we’re here for you. Reach out to us today to set up a consultation.
Next Steps
Call us at 623-680-3486,text 623-688-5115, or email info@crossroadsfcc.com. You can ask all the questions you have and see if couples therapy at Crossroads is the right fit for you and your partner. You can also learn more about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) as well. Our offices are conveniently located throughout the Valley of the Sun including Phoenix, Anthem, and Scottsdale.
- Contact Crossroads Counseling
- Meet with a couples therapist in Scottsdale, Phoenix, or Arizona online
- Begin addressing your relationship issues
If you are a Christian couple in search of a Christian marriage intensive click here to learn more about Christian Affair Recovery Experts, or C.A.R.E.
