More people are starting to realize that neurodivergence doesn’t mean you can’t live a fully happy life. It simply means your brain works differently. When two neurodivergent people are in a relationship, there can be wonderful connection and intimacy, and even strong communication.
But it’s essential that you and your partner understand each other’s neurodiversities.
With that in mind, let’s cover some tips you can use as a neurodivergent couple to foster a healthy, happy relationship.
Educate Yourself
There’s probably more to learn about your partner’s way of thinking than you realize. Just because you don’t think about things the same way doesn’t mean there has to be discord in the relationship.
One of the best things you can do is to learn more about their neurodiverse way of thinking. Have they been diagnosed with autism or ADHD? Do your research on those conditions and ask your partner about their thought processes. You might have underlying stereotypes built up in your mind, which can lead to misconceptions about your partner and how they feel.
It’s also important to be an open book about your condition, as well. Your partner can’t read your mind, so talking about your neurodivergent thought processes and how you work through things can make a big difference in your communication efforts and the way you understand each other.
Accept Yourself and Your Partner
It’s normal to want to put your best foot forward in a relationship. But, if you’re constantly trying to hide who you really are, it’s going to create contention, confusion, and miscommunication.
Learn to accept yourself and the way you think and feel. Remember, being neurodivergent isn’t a negative thing, it’s just different. When you accept that, you’ll boost your self-esteem and allow yourself to truly shine in your relationship.
You’ll also be more likely to accept your partner for who they are. When you understand that your way of thinking doesn’t have to define you, it will be easier for you to honor the differences between you and your partner, even if you don’t always understand them. That can lead to fewer conflicts and arguments within the relationship and create more empathy when you don’t see eye to eye on things.
Celebrate Your Persistence
It’s understandable to be overwhelmed at times when you’re in a neurodivergent relationship. But, if you’re both committed to each other and making things work, make sure you celebrate that. Take the time to acknowledge each other’s efforts and the work you’re putting in to understand each other and get closer.
By celebrating even the smallest victories, you’ll be reminded of why you’re working hard to understand each other in the first place. These small celebrations can also help you feel closer, as a couple, and give you hope for the future.
Work with a Professional Counselor
While these tips can make a big difference in the health and strength of your relationship, it’s okay to feel like you can’t tackle them on your own. Again, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed as a neurodiverse couple.
Consider working with a mental health professional to put these tips into practice. Or to develop different strategies that can help you understand yourself and your partner while learning how to strengthen your bond. Therapy can help to improve communication, reduce confusion, and build vulnerability and intimacy.
If you’re ready to take that step and you know you don’t want your neurodivergent differences to define your relationship, feel free to reach out. I’m happy to set up an appointment for you so you and your partner can make the most of your differences and learn how to navigate them together.
Next Steps
Call us at 623-680-3486,text 623-688-5115, or email info@crossroadsfcc.com. You can ask all the questions you have and see if couples therapy at Crossroads is the right fit for you and your partner. You can also learn more about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) as well. Our offices are conveniently located throughout the Valley of the Sun including Phoenix, Anthem, Online in Arizona, and Scottsdale. We would be honored to support you in better understanding your relationship. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling
- Meet with a couples therapist
- Begin addressing your relationship