A whirlwind romance can seem like something out of a movie or a fairytale. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in emotions. You might feel those stereotypical “butterflies” around that person. You might even start to think about a long-term future, despite the newness of the relationship.
But, one of the biggest problems with these types of relationships is they often aren’t built to last.
That doesn’t mean it never happens. For some, “love at first sight” can lead to a long, happy, committed relationship. But, if your whirlwind romance starts to falter and you’re beginning to have regrets, that’s understandable.
So, what should you do? What’s the best route to take when those butterflies in your stomach start to slow down and the reality of your relationship sets in?
Accept the Truth
All relationships “die down” in terms of how exciting they are. That doesn’t mean you’re destined to be bored in your relationship. But, if you were on a bit of a high with that person for a long time and now it feels like you’ve settled into something more routine, that’s okay.
Or, at least, you have to decide if that’s okay.
Determine what you really want from your relationship. If it’s just to have fun with someone without any deep connection or commitment, you might be disappointed when reality sets in and every day isn’t an exciting adventure.
But, if you want to be with someone on a long-term basis, you’ll have to learn to find comfort and peace in the “everyday” things. You need to be ready to embrace the next phase of that relationship as it continues to grow and change in different ways.
Develop Deeper Intimacy
Once you’re willing to let go of that “euphoric” idea of love, you can dive deeper into what long-lasting intimacy looks like. If you’re open to it, it can be so much better than the butterflies you initially experienced.
You’ll learn how to disagree and argue effectively. You won’t find everything your partner does to be “perfect”. That’s okay! Getting through those things is exactly what will cause your relationship to become stronger.
Remember That Love is a Choice
That feeling of euphoria when you first enter into a whirlwind relationship is exciting. But, making a commitment to that person is a choice. Love, itself, is a choice. So, it’s up to you to decide if you want to keep experiencing those butterflies and igniting new relationships, or if your feelings for your partner run deeper than the initial spark you felt for each other.
Every day needs to be a rededication of yourself to that relationship. So, it’s a good idea to start focusing less on the “excitement” it can provide, and focusing more on the person you’re with. Get involved in hobbies you both enjoy, and take an interest in their hobbies. Set aside time every day to have a meaningful conversation, even if it’s only for a few minutes. You might find that when the “fun” fades away, you really love the person underneath.
It’s also important to have a deep understanding of who you are. Take the time to ask yourself what you might be missing, or what your needs are if you’re disappointed when your relationship loses that excitement.
If you’re having trouble organizing your true thoughts or feelings, or you can’t seem to figure out what you want, feel free to contact one of our therapists trained in couples counseling and/or couples counseling for one. Together, you and your therapist can work on the things about your relationship that make you most excited, and how those factors can have lasting power when it comes to your decisions for the future.
Feel free to call contact us at Crossroad’s Counseling by calling 623-680-3486, texting 623-688-5115, or emailing email@example.com. We offer a 20 minute complementary phone call. You can ask all the questions you have to see how we can help.