No matter how a relationship ends, there’s still a process of grieving that needs to occur afterward. It’s a loss, no matter how you look at it.
While family members and friends might tell you to get back out there and jump into the dating pool, you might have reservations about it. Or, maybe you want to start dating again but you’re hesitant because you got hurt.
So, how soon can you start dating again after a breakup? Is there an ideal timeline to follow?
The short answer is no. Don’t let anyone pressure you into dating before you’re ready. Instead of focusing on a specific amount of time, focus instead on some of the signs that you’re truly ready to put yourself out there again. Let’s cover a few of them.
You’ve Taken the Time to Find Yourself
Some people make the mistake of jumping back into the world of dating because they want to forget what happened in their last relationship.
But, if you don’t take the time to deal with the stress of that relationship, you’re going to bring drama into a new one.
Practice self-care after a breakup. If you’ve taken the time to prioritize your mental and physical health, deal with stress appropriately, and rediscover who you really are without a partner, you’re likely ready to start dating again.
Have you engaged in new or old hobbies? Are you spending time with friends and family? Are you developing new interests and enjoying your time alone? Those are all healthy signs that you’re ready to move on.
You’ve Worked On Underlying Issues
It’s easy to place the blame on one person when a relationship ends. In some cases, that’s justified. But, no one is perfect. Before you dive into something new, consider what issues you might have brought to a past relationship, and how you’ve worked (or are working) to resolve them.
You still won’t be perfect going into a new relationship. But, when you’re willing to acknowledge your weaknesses and make an effort to do better, you’re likely to see a more successful relationship in the future.
You Have Goals
Setting goals for your dating life might not seem like the most romantic thing in the world. But, they can help you establish clear expectations for future relationships. So, you won’t be as likely to ignore red flags or fall for problematic behaviors.
Make sure your goals are realistic and reflect the things that align with your core values. You’ll end up dating people more suited to your needs, and you won’t lose your identity in the process.
You’ve Grieved Properly
Again, it’s important to grieve after a breakup. It’s still a loss, no matter how it happened. Unfortunately, there are so many stereotypes and bad advice that tend to come with breakups, you might feel like it’s not “right” to grieve, or it somehow makes you weak to feel sad or lost when ending the relationship was the right thing to do. 
If you’re not sure how to work through the grieving process, don’t assume you have to do it on your own. Talking to a therapist after a breakup can make a big difference in your overall well-being. Therapy can help to manage your mental health while you work through your grief. You might even learn more about yourself and your view on relationships than you ever thought possible.
No matter how long ago your breakup was, it’s never too late to get the help you need and deserve before you start dating again. Contact a Crossroad’s therapist for more information or to set up an appointment soon.
Next Steps
If you are struggling processing through and healing from a breakup please call us at 623-680-3486,text 623-688-5115, or email info@crossroadsfcc.com. You can ask all the questions you have and see if therapy at Crossroads is the right fit for you. You can also learn more about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) as well. Our offices are conveniently located throughout the Valley of the Sun including Phoenix, Anthem, and Scottsdale. We would be honored to support you in better understanding your relationship. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling
- Meet with a relationship therapist
- Begin addressing your breakup struggles
