What Is Attachment Style Parenting?


When you’re a new parent, your life starts over.

Those first few weeks (or months) after bringing home a little one can seem like a blur. But you’ll eventually fall into a rhythm. Your child will become more active, start to develop their own personality, and you’ll establish routines.

You’ll also get a better idea of the kind of parent you really want to be.

Attachment style parenting refers to the way you connect and respond to your baby’s needs. Parenting is a long journey and what works for one person might not work for another. It’s important to find the style that works for you and your little one.

With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at attachment style parenting and how it will impact your physical and emotional bonds with your child from a very early age.

It Starts Right Away

Attachment style parenting begins the moment your baby is born. Things like skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding are great ways to boost your bond with your little one. Holding your baby and talking to them often can also provide a secure sense of attachment.

As your baby goes through their first year of life, you can continue that secure attachment by responding to their needs, learning their different facial expressions and cries, and showing empathy when they’re dealing with negative emotions that are hard to work through.

As your child gets older, attachment style parenting can continue by allowing your child to make their own decisions (when it’s safe), encouraging appropriate physical touch, and responding to their needs.

Why is It Important?

Multiple studies have shown that children who grow up with secure attachment styles tend to have a greater sense of self. They can take that secure attachment into future relationships.

Beyond that, children with secure attachment tend to be able to self-regulate their emotions better than those who didn’t grow up with the same bonds. That includes having a greater ability to cope with things like fear, anger, and stress.

It might be difficult to think so far into your child’s future right now, but secure attachment parenting sets them up for “success” in their personal life.

Are There Any Risks?

There are some critics of attachment style parenting. Most of the “cons” have to do with things like co-sleeping with your little one, if you choose to go that route. Most healthcare professionals agree that sleeping in the same bed with an infant is unsafe. You can still bond with your baby by sleeping in the same room while ensuring their safety in separate beds.

Another potential drawback is overly dependent children. Some argue that parents who are overly responsive to their child’s every need might keep them from developing the independence they should have as adults. Or, they might learn to manipulate or even bully others (including you!) into getting what they want.

Obviously, these potential cons aren’t relevant to every situation. As stated above, attachment style parenting is part of the journey you’ll be on with your little one for years to come.

With that being said, it’s okay to adjust your style to meet your own needs and the needs of your child.

Fostering a Secure Attachment

Whether you’re expecting a baby soon or you’ve already brought home your bundle of joy, consider the type of attachment you want to foster.

What you do now will set the tone for the relationship between you and your child, and will have an impact on them well into adulthood. This only scratches the surface of attachment style parenting, so be sure to do your research to determine what’s right for you.

Looking for attachment based counseling in the Phoenix and Scottsdale areas? Contact us by calling 623-680-3486, texting 623-688-5115, or emailing info@crossroadsfcc.com and ask to speak with one of our counselors. We offer a 20 minute complementary phone call.  You can ask all the questions you have to see if Crossroads is the right fit for you.

We have offices throughout the Valley of the Sun including Phoenix, Anthem, Biltmore, Paradise Valley, and Scottsdale.