The 3 C’s of Leadership: Personal Growth Counseling & Coaching.


“A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.”  John Maxwell


The 3 C’s of Leadership: Personal Growth Counseling & Coaching

What are some of the qualities of an effective leader?  Does he or she have to be fearless?  Does a leader have to have all the answers?  Is being a good leader mean that you never fail?  I believe good and effective leadership starts with being connected to yourself and others.  A leader has to know who they are, what they believe, where they are going, and how they will get there.    A good leader is also connected to others in real and authentic relationship.

An effective leader is confident.  Confident in their mission and vision.  Confident that they have what it takes to get the job done.  Confident and secure that even in their shortcomings and mistakes they can grow from them and become better leaders and better people.

A good leader is competent.  Competent in what they do whatever it may be.  If the leader is a teacher then they work to increase their skills and to become the best teacher they can possibly be.  If the leader is a small business owner then they focus on growing their knowledge and skill set in their craft and in what it takes to run a business.

Connection. Confidence. Competence.  These are the 3 C’s of Leadership.  Let’s take a closer look at each one below.



The antiquated model of leadership is the strong, independent, “I have all the answers.” and “I don’t need others!” leader.  The reality is no one can do it alone.  There is a growing wealth of research that proves we are emotionally and physically healthier and more resilient when we are connected to others in authentic relationships.  The best leaders are those that have a few close trusted confidants that they can not only bounce ideas off of, but where they can also admit their fears, insecurities, and other personal information.

To first connect with others, however, a leader must be connected to their own self.  The connected leader knows their strengths and weaknesses.  They are in tune with their emotions, thoughts, and needs.  They take time, energy, and the necessary resources to invest in their own personal growth and development.  The ultimate goal here is to know who you are and to have self-awareness.  After all, one cannot share with others what one does not know.

A connected leader is a leader who takes the time and effort to get to know those they are leading.  They are not aloof or detached from their team.  They are warm, responsive, and caring.  While modeling healthy boundaries they show vulnerability and transparency with their team or with those they are leading.  They admit when they are wrong and when they do not have the answer.  They build real and authentic relationships with those who are following them. It is ultimately the connection and the relationship that produces results.   In review, connected and authentic relationships create productive teams and lasting results.


An effective leader is confident in who they are and in what they do.  A confident leader has identified their life mission and vision.  If they are leading an organization they know the mission and vision and confidently seek to bring it to fruition.  A confident leader is guided by his or her core values.  The life or business decisions they make flow from their mission, vision, and core values.  They have a clearly defined purpose for self and for the organization.

Having confidence does not mean one never experiences doubt, fear, or insecurity.  It simply means you believe in yourself.  It means believing that you have something good to offer.  It is believing that you bring value to others.  It is not arrogance, but rather it is a quite and humble belief in your God given abilities, talents, and gifts.

All leaders struggle with confidence at times.  When confidence is lacking a leader needs others who believe in them. The most confident and effective leaders I have ever known are connected to a few close friends who encourage and equip them to be the best they can be.  A leader’s close friends can remind them of their greater purpose and help them to stay the course.

Fear is one of the greatest enemies to being a confident leader.  When you are connected to others, are driven by your greater purpose, and believe in yourself fear loses its grip.  A confident leader pushes past the fear and even uses it to his or her advantage.  After all, a big part of what fear is is energy that can be harnessed and used for success.


A good leader demonstrates competence in his or her trade, craft, or skill.  Competence does not mean perfection.  It is the ability to do something efficiently and successfully.  A competent leader invests their time, energy, talents, and who they are into what they do.  It has been reported that in order to truly achieve mastery one has to put in 10,000 hours of practice in their field or discipline.  A competent leader is either on his or her way to this number or has already achieved it.  They are driven to be the best they can possibly be.

A competent leader is also a productive leader.  Through being connected and confident they produce results both in their organization and in the people they lead.  Competent leaders have not arrived and no longer need to develop. Conversely, they are constantly growing by learning from others, investing in themselves, and helping others to grow too.  Others follow them because of who they are and because of what they have done.

Finally, a competent leader is secure in who they are, secure in their connections with others, and secure in their life purpose and in the organization’s mission and vision.  They are producing “good fruit” in self and helping those they lead to also produce good fruit.

My Challenge

If you are in a leadership position my challenge for you is to become a better and more efficient leader.  Get connected to others in real and authentic relationships.  Have people that invest in you and where you invest in them too.  Increase your confidence by clearly identifying what your purpose is.  If you are leading a business or organization know what the mission, vision, and core values are and all them to guide your decisions.   Finally, produce good fruit in yourself, those you lead, and in the organization or business.  Do this by continually investing the time and energy it takes to grow personally and professionally.  Remember that no one has truly “arrived” and that we are all still in process.

Next Steps

If you are a business owner, manager, pastor, or in a leadership position and want to invest in your growth and the growth of your team and/or organization then please contact us at 623-680-3486,text 623-688-5115, or email   Our offices are conveniently located throughout the Valley of the Sun including Phoenix, Anthem, and Scottsdale.  You can start your journey by following these simple steps:

  1. Contact Crossroads Counseling
  2. Meet with a caring therapist
  3. Grow in your leadership!