The Christian Affair Recovery Experts Program Offers Hope!
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” –Romans 8:28
Crossroads Counseling offers a program specifically designed for Christian couples recovering from infidelity. The Christian Affair Recovery Experts (C.A.R.E.) is a private intensive therapy program where a Christian couple meets one one one with a C.A.R.E. therapist. It is a safe place, free from judgment and condemnation. Here, you and your spouse can find the immediate and ongoing support you need to heal from the pain of infidelity.
Infidelity can create a moment of crisis that requires immediate, dedicated attention. You can think of our C.A.R.E. intensives like an emergency room. We are here to address the trauma of infidelity, stop the bleeding, and restore a sense of stability.
During these intensives, you and your spouse will privately meet with an experienced marriage counselor. There are several meeting options to choose from. They are:
Option One: Meet with a C.A.R.E. therapist for weekly 50 or 75 minute sessions. This is ideal for couples who would like more a traditional therapy approach and who live locally to our locations.
Option Two: Meet with a C.A.R.E. therapist for back-to-back 75-min sessions, total of 2.5 hours. This can be offered on a weekly basis and allows for increased time for couples who are in immediate crisis.
Option Three: Meet with a C.A.R.E. therapist for two back-to-back 75-min sessions breaking for lunch. Total of 5 hours. This is ideal for couples who are in immediate need of help and who live locally.
Option Four: Two day intensive where 1 couple meets with a C.A.R.E. therapist for two days and two back-to-back 75-min sessions, breaking for lunch. Total of 10 hours. Please note: This can be repeated for a total of 4 days and is often best for couples who are coming from out of town. Assistance in making arrangements for lodging can be provided.
We designed the C.A.R.E. program because we understand the specific challenges Christian couples often face after an affair. We also know that God has the power to heal what is broken. Christ’s resurrection shows us how, no matter how hopeless and bleak things may seem, God can restore life and light. There are times when we all need someone to walk beside us and remind us of God’s forgiveness.
In the C.A.R.E. intensives your therapist will help through the stages of healing from an affair:
Stage 1: Disclosure & Triage. The first part of Stage 1 is to have full disclosure of what happened. Affairs are often discovered by the betrayed spouse and a process of connecting all of the dots in order to get a full understanding is needed. The involved spouse may initially lie about the affair or only provide limited information. Given all of the complexities in the process of disclosure having a trusted and competent C.A.R.E. therapist walk this path with you can help.
The second part of Stage 1 is triage. The focus of triage is on assessing the level of trauma on both the betrayed and involved spouse’s side that results from the infidelity and determining a course of action. Most couples experience feelings of shock, grief, denial, anger, and shame. This whirlwind of emotions is often overwhelming and your C.A.R.E. therapist will help you to stop the initial bleeding and lay out a plan of action for recovery and healing.
Stage 2: Clarification and Context. In most cases, affairs just do not happen. There are reasons as to why someone chooses to step out of the marriage. The reasons often have both an individual and relational component. The goal of this stage is to help the couple and each person come to a comprehensive understanding of both themselves, the relationship, and each other. Understanding the “why” of the affair not only helps in the healing process but also serves as a way of safeguarding the marriage from future breeches.
Stage 3: Healing & Bonding. The goal here is to help the couple heal from the trauma of the affair. Conversations surrounding forgiveness and the rebuilding of T.R.U.S.T. are key in helping both the betrayed spouse and the involved spouse experience true healing. The betrayed spouse will often need to know, feel, and sense that the involved spouse truly understands the pain the affair has caused and is experiencing what the Bible refers to as “Godly sorrow” (2 Cor. 7:10). The involved spouse who can be full of shame and guilt needs forgiveness which is essential in the process of reconciliation.
Secondly, the goal here is to strengthen the marriage bond by learning new skills of how to vulnerably connect to one another through the process of sharing your deepest emotions and needs. Having bonding conversations help to facilitate the healing process and to rebuild trust.
Stage 4: Safeguarding & Moving Forward. When Christ went to the cross all looked hopeless and bleak. Then the Resurrection happened! Hope was restored. The focus of stage four is on creating a marriage built on trust, vulnerability, and intimacy. As individuals and as a couple we want you to move forward with a renewed sense of hope and with new tools that will help you and your spouse continue to heal and flourish. Having new tools and ways of relating and engaging with one another will help to safeguard your marriage from future breeches of trust. Finally, the goal is to help you move forward in creating the marriage you want; to not have the infidelity define you or your marriage but rather to have it refine you and your marriage.