Are You Alone in Your Marriage? Marriage Counseling Can Help.
Loneliness happens. Even in marriage. Particularly in marriage.
According to a 2010 national survey of older adults, nearly 30% of married people reported being lonely in their marriages.
Perhaps you thought marriage would be the one safe place where you were always welcomed, seen, heard, and understood.
Unfortunately, your lonely reality is much different and more painful than you ever imagined. Physically you’re still together, but emotionally you’re alone in your own home.
To restore the connection lost between you and your mate is tough work, but worth it. Your marriage can still fulfill the hard-wired need for a secure, supportive relationship that is key to human contentment.
So, how do you turn things around?
Good, solid couples counseling can help chart a mutually-satisfying course back to each other.
Couples counseling can cultivate personal emotional awareness.
Isolation in a marriage weighs heavily on individual mental and physical health, if it’s allowed to go unaddressed. Partners becomes less attuned to each other, less able to see their relationship clearly, and more susceptible to depression and negativity. The humor, playfulness and engagement you long for feels further and further out of reach.
If you feel painfully frustrated or emotionally starved, a counselor can help you identify and examine your unmet needs. In a safe, compassionate environment, your counselor will gently challenge you to look at yourself.
As you own and open up to your feelings, you’ll find you are better able to calmly acknowledge and manage feelings like dissatisfaction, anger, rejection, and insecurity. This awareness is the key to more productive self-expression, and the key to cultivating more awareness and openness with your partner.
Counseling supports the progression from personal awareness to effective expression.
The loneliness in your marriage may have persisted for so long that you may not even remember how to be close again. Your counselor can help you choose more effective ways of communicating, share what you’ve learned about your own relationship needs and desires, and encourage you to empathize with the needs of your partner.
With less blame or defensiveness, you’ll find new ways to give each other opportunities to hear and respond to each other. As the counseling process progresses, self-awareness will continue to expand, as well as your ability to communicate, and accept what is shared.
Counseling helps lay the groundwork for acceptance and healing, resulting in closer connections.
As a couple, feelings of loneliness will begin to ease, as you make gains rebuilding an “us” foundation for your life again. You’ll begin to recognize your goal of being a unit again. As you become more emotionally intelligent and aware, your mutual acceptance, compassion, and willingness to meet each other’s needs will start to drive your counseling sessions uniquely.
Dealing with unresolved pain or resentment will be important in your goal to regain closeness. Learning to manage your feelings and differences without losing your connection is vital. From there, you’ll both be able to capitalize on any insights that can foster more understanding between you.
Life and challenges to your union won’t let up. Having a person in your corner is important to preventing any more time lost to loneliness or disconnect. Expansion of your communication repertoire, and a wider array of tools at your disposal for navigating the changes in your relationship, are other ways counseling is particularly beneficial.
A secure, supportive relationship allows us to thrive. If relationship counseling can help you make sense of your emotions and restore your marriage, the time it takes to develop new ways to communicate, cooperate, and connect are definitely worth the effort.
Call a Crossroads marriage therapist at 623-680-3486 for a 20 minute phone consultation to learn how we can help you in your marriage. With offices located in Phoenix and Scottsdale help for your marriage is just minutes away. You may also email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to learn more about marriage counseling and how it can help your relationship.