Being in a Christian marriage and putting God at the center of your relationship doesn’t mean you won’t struggle. You and your spouse are two flawed, sinful human beings. You’re going to make mistakes.
However, as Christ’s followers, the goal is to forgive and move forward together, keeping God at the core of everything you do.
Of course, because you’re only human, it’s not easy to “forgive and forget.” But that’s not really the point. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you ignore what happened. Rather, it means you let go of that sin and figure out how to strengthen your marriage together for the future. That starts with rebuilding trust.
With that in mind, let’s cover four tips you can use to rebuild trust in a Christian marriage.
1. Be Honest and Repent
Broken trust typically occurs when one person is keeping something from another. In a marriage, that could be anything from infidelity to financial secrets.
Whatever the case, the first step toward rebuilding trust is to be completely honest about what broke it in the first place. If you’re the one at fault, come clean. Don’t leave out any detail. Let your spouse know exactly what you did and the motivation behind it.
Be repentant of what you did, not just because you got “caught,” but because you realize it isn’t your true identity in Christ.
2. Make Forgiveness an Action
As Christians, you know the importance of forgiveness. But, it has to be more than just words. It’s easy to tell someone you forgive them, but if you don’t feel it in your heart, it isn’t going deep enough. That can cause you to hold a grudge or even resent your spouse.
In the end, the one you’re really leaving on the hook is yourself.
Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Choose to prioritize it through your actions, not just your words. You’ll have disagreements and struggles again throughout your marriage. Let those stand alone, and don’t bring up past hurts or whatever might have broken your trust this time. Holding onto those things isn’t going to help anyone.
3. Communicate
Communication is an important key to any healthy relationship. It means even more when you’re trying to rebuild trust. While it’s important to talk about what happened, don’t let it be the only topic of conversation.
Rather, focus on daily communication that encourages and strengthens your relationship. Additionally, recenter your relationship with Christ. Read the Bible together. Attend studies together. Discuss devotionals together. These things can bring you so much closer and foster trust faster.
If you’re having trouble finding stable ground again, consider working with a therapist or counselor — especially one who shares your values and beliefs. Finding a marriage therapist you can trust can help you learn how to renew your relationship and see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, that’s exactly what it takes for trust to start growing again.
4. Trust God
At the end of the day, pray.
Remember that no matter what happens in your marriage, God is in control and He has a perfect plan for you. You can’t force your spouse to change and you can’t fix things on your own. But you can surrender all to Christ. Instead of praying for Him to fix everything, pray for His guidance and choose to put your complete trust in Him. He knows what he’s doing, even when it seems like you’re lost.
Again, Christian marriages face almost all the challenges and problems of any other marriage. It’s how you handle those issues and rebuild trust after it’s broken that makes a difference. Use some of these tips and don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you feel like you can’t do it on your own.
Christian Marriage Counseling in Phoenix, Scottsdale and online in AZ
If you are looking for faith based counseling in Arizona, we offer in person counseling sessions at on of our offices serving Phoenix, Anthem, Paradise Valley, and Scottsdale. We also have Christian Therapists available online available to offer services to anyone living in Arizona. We would be honored to help you and your spouse rebuild trust in your marriage. You can start by following these simple steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling
- Meet with a christian marriage therapist near you
- Begin the healing process
Call us at 623-680-3486, text 623-688-5115, or email info@crossroadsfcc.com. You can ask all the questions you have and see if marriage counseling for Christian couples at Crossroads is the right fit for you and your spouse. You can also learn more about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) as well.
Or please visit christianmarriageintensives.com to see if a Christian marriage intensive might be the best choice for you.
