10 Tips for Guys: How To Encourage Your Wife!

Men's Counseling

10 Tips For Guys:  How to Encourage Your Wife!

Not too long ago my wife and I watched an episode of the TV show Mobbed.  The show featured a young couple where the guy planned to propose to his girl.  The crew designed this elaborate musical featuring over a thousand choreographed dancers and culminating in the couple getting married.  It was awesome!  The girl was in shock and awe and overwhelmed with emotion.  She not only said yes to the proposal but to also getting married right there on the spot.

In the post interview the now recently married couple shared their experience.  As she talked about how she was the happiest and luckiest girl on the planet all he could do was smile.  He didn’t really have to say anything because his smile said it all as he not only married the woman of his dreams, but he successfully made his girl the happiest on the planet.

Virtually every guy wants to make his lady happy.  We want our woman to feel like a princess, and when we fail to treat them that way it sucks!  There are times when we lose sight of what it takes or simply take her for granted.  This article is for guys in all phases of a relationship.  These are my top 10 tips on how to keep your that special woman in your life happy.

When things get rough don’t lose hope.

Every relationship has its ups and downs.  Many guys get discouraged and throw in the towel too early.   The key is to not lose hope in the face of adversity.  If you show your partner that you are willing to keep fighting for the relationship you may win her over and discover lasting and very rewarding love.

Keep dating and NEVER stop pursuing.

Once guys get the girl they tend to stop doing all the things it took to win her heart.  You want to keep the romance and love alive by pursuing her, taking her out on regular dates, and doing all the same crazy things you did before she committed to you.  Click here to learn more about date night.

Tell her you love her every day. 

There are many guys who have a hard time expressing their emotions.  They are great at providing, fixing things around the house, or problem solving but when it comes to being vulnerable it’s like they are a deer caught in the headlights. Having a successful relationship hinges on having a great emotional connection and being able to tell your lady how much you love her and how much she means to you is essential.  So I want to go home, gaze into her eyes, and let her know how much she means to you.  Even if you stutter your way through it she will recognize the effort.

Hug her! Love her! Everyday!

Embrace and hug your wife. 

While you are working on becoming better at expressing your emotions verbally you can implement a more physical approach.  Not so fast, tiger.  I am not talking about sex but rather holding, caressing, cuddling, embracing, and being close.  I call this, “NST”, which stands for Non-Sexual Touching.  This kind of touching brings comfort, calms fears, and strengthens the emotional connection in a relationship.

Admit when you are wrong.

It takes a real man to be able to admit he’s wrong, own his mistake, and make a heartfelt apology.  This goes a long way in protecting your relationship from the kind of hurts that threaten the emotional connection and, in so doing, keeps the bond healthy and strong.

Be strong and sensitive.

Most men have no problem showing their strong side and this is good.  When your lady or family is threatened you want to be able to rise up and fight like hell to keep them safe.  The flipside is that many men struggle with showing their sensitivity.  Men have a soft, loving, and nurturing side that women adore.  We often do not show this sensitive side out of a fear of appearing weak.  The truth is that it takes more courage to be vulnerable than it does hide these emotions.

Listen with your heart.

When your woman is sharing, especially when it’s frustration, it’s really easy to get defensive.  The goal here is to listen for the message under her anger or attacks.  Often times you will learn that she is hurting.  Now at this point a lot of guys will try to solve something to make it better.  Don’t fall into the trap of trying to fix it because the solution is you.  The answer is often not an external fix but you listening, comforting, and caring for your lady.

Speak from your heart.

You might be noticing a theme here of being able to communicate your emotions and emotional needs.  The reason for my emphasis on this is that for a relationship to be both partners have to be able to give and receive love, comfort, and connection to one another.  Speaking non-defensively from your heart is one of the keys to a great relationship.

Help around the house and with the kids.

Giving an extra hand around the house and with the kids (that is if have them) is so important.  Take it upon yourself to treat your lady like a queen by picking up some extra slack around the house.  This is a very easy and practical step you can implement right away that will have positive results.

Don’t allow fear and shame to overwhelm you.

Lastly, when things are rough in a relationship fear and shame can easily enter in and cause paralysis.  This will most often be viewed as you not caring or being emotionally distant.  Often times the fear is about not wanting to upset the delicate balance especially in a relationship that is hurting.  This can be related to our desires of not wanting to lose the emotional connection or the relationship entirely. You have to identify the fear, call it what it is, and let your spouse know that is there.  Talking about fear and shame causes it to lose its power and allows for the two of you to overcome it together.

Start Men’s Counseling in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Arizona!

Is your marriage struggling?  Maybe you want to work on being the best husband you can be.  Or perhaps you are looking for counseling for men in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and all Arizona with online/virtual men’s therapy.  Call us at 623-680-3486,text 623-688-5115, or email info@crossroadsfcc.com.  You can ask all the questions you have and see if therapy at Crossroads is the right fit for you and your spouse. You can also learn more about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) as well. Our offices are conveniently located throughout the Valley of the Sun including Phoenix, Anthem, and Scottsdale. We would be honored to support you in better understanding your relationship. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:

  1. Contact Crossroads Counseling
  2. Meet with a therapist for men
  3. Begin addressing your relationship struggles