Self-compassion is extending compassion or care to oneself especially in areas of real or perceived inadequacy, failure, and/or during times of suffering. Researchers have identified 3 main components of self-compassion. They are mindfulness, self-kindness, and keeping healthy perspective on imperfection being universal to all human beings.
Self-compassion is important in that it is one of the primary ways we can self-regulate our nervous system and our emotions. When we self-regulate our emotions, bodies, thoughts, and perceptions we are better able to tolerate/process painful experiences, find purpose and meaning in life, and relate to others in more healthy ways.
There are times, however, when we are so deep into pain and/or shame when we need the other to come find us. This is one of the limits of self-compassion in that we often need to first experience the love of another to internalize the good which allows us to practice self-compassion. Relating and connecting to safe others is known as co-regulation. Co-regulation also helps calm our nervous systems and emotions. When we vulnerably share with others our true selves we can experience the love and acceptance that is the most effective way to combat fear and shame.
Remembering that we need to regulate to relate and relate to regulate is a helpful way to understand how we can increase self-compassion in our lives.
How self-compassionate are you?
Please indicate how much you agree or disagree with the following statements:
