What’s Your Attachment Style?

Do you want more out of your relationship? As you grow and change, your relationship will naturally grow with you. Challenges can arise, however, when you struggle to recognize your attachment style and how you and your partner each behave in your relationship. Your attachment style is informed by a variety of factors, including the relationships you held growing up, and understanding how you connect with your partner can help you strengthen the bond you share.

Withdrawers tend to have more of an avoidant attachment. You may avoid conflict, difficult conversations and struggle to share your thoughts and emotions with your spouse or partner. Pursuers tend to have more of an anxious attachment. You may feel distant or shut out and prefer to resolve issues immediately. Those who are more secure in their attachment are able to feel more confident in their relationship to more openly give and receive comfort and care.

The following Attachment Style Quiz is not meant to define you or your relationship, but it can help you assess your attachment style and determine if you or your relationship could heal or grow through professional guidance and support.

What Is Your Relationship Attachment Style?

The following questions can help you determine your relationship attachment style.  It is important to note that there is no “correct” way to behave in relationships, but understanding how you think and act with your partner is an important step in healing and growing together.

Please indicate to what extent you agree or disagree with the following statements about how you feel and interact with your partner.

Name Email

I tend to avoid conflict with my spouse/partner.

I feel like I am “walking on egg-shells” with my spouse/partner.

I feel like a failure in my spouse/partner's eyes.

I feel like I can "never get it right” with my spouse/partner.

I find it difficult to share my vulnerable emotions with my spouse/partner.

I try to resolve issues and come up with practical solutions to problems.

I get overwhelmed and shut down when there is conflict with my spouse/partner.

I prefer to resolve issues rather than let them linger.

I get angry and critical when my spouse/partner will not talk or engage with me.

I often feel like I do not matter or that my feelings are not important to my spouse/partner.

If I don't take charge and do something to help this relationship my spouse/partner never will.

I feel alone and shut out in this relationship.

I feel emotionally distant and disconnected from my spouse/partner.

I tend to initiate conversations with my partner to work on issues in our relationship.

I can openly give comfort and care to my spouse/partner.

I feel safe and secure with my spouse/partner.

I can openly receive comfort and care from my spouse/partner.

I am comfortable with conflict in my relationship because I know it will bring us closer.

I am valuable to my spouse/partner and he/she is valuable to me.

I know that my spouse/partner cares.

When I reach out I know that my spouse/partner will be there.

Be sure to click Submit Quiz to see your results!