Most people understand the basics of infidelity in a relationship, whether it’s physical or emotional. However, there’s a different kind of infidelity that’s not as widely known, but can create big problems in the healthiest of relationships.
Financial infidelity refers to any kind of lie or secret kept about money within your relationship. Unfortunately, it happens more often than you might think. According to a study by CreditCards.com, about 15 million people in the U.S. alone hide at least one credit card or bank card from their partner.
Financial infidelity might not seem as harmful as other types of “cheating,” but it can do serious damage to your relationship, breaking trust and making it nearly impossible to be open and honest with your partner. Even if you have the best of intentions, financial infidelity will undoubtedly be a toxic poison in your relationship.
Let’s take a closer look at what financial infidelity often looks like, and what you can do to make sure it doesn’t bankrupt your entire relationship.
What Are Examples of Financial Infidelity?
Financial infidelity can creep into a relationship in a variety of ways. Again, sometimes you might have good intentions because you don’t want your partner to worry about money. However, any kind of secret-keeping can shatter the trust in your relationship.
With that in mind, some of the most common forms of financial infidelity include hiding debt like credit card balances, making significant purchases without the other partner knowing, or even lying about your income or assets.
Some people even go so far as to have secret bank accounts or investments. Hiding financial records and documents is also considered financial cheating. Anything financial actions that lead to a betrayal of trust within the relationship should be considered a red flag, so don’t use these examples exclusively.
The Negative Consequences
Any time you’re keeping a secret from your partner, it can cause problems to arise in the relationship. However, money is often a sensitive subject, to begin with. Even if you feel like you’re doing something good, hiding financial issues (positive or negative) from the person you’re doing life with is bound to foster arguments and even resentment.
Your partner might also have a harder time showing vulnerability around you if they found out you’ve been keeping financial secrets. Or, it might feel like a blow to their self-esteem that you didn’t trust them enough with those secrets. It can take a long time to rebuild that trust.
What Can You Do?
Again, money can be a sensitive issue for some couples, whether you’re in good financial shape or not. Don’t make it worse by keeping things from your partner. Ideally, you would have multiple discussions about your finances and how you want to handle them throughout your relationship.
Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. If financial infidelity has already impacted your relationship, there are some important steps to take.
Take Ownership
First, come clean. Make sure your partner knows about everything that has been hidden from them. If they have been the ones hiding, find out everything and make sure they are committed to laying all of the information on the table.
Rebuild Trust
You both have to decide how you’re going to move forward and how you’ll treat your finances from now on. Of course, when trust has been broken, that’s not an easy thing to do. Often, something like marriage counseling can make a big difference in not only bringing these issues forward but teaching you both the communication skills needed to look toward the future.
It will take time to get through the impact of financial fidelity. Both people have to be on board. You both have to commit to these kinds of secrets never creeping into your relationship again.
Start Counseling for Infidelity in Phoenix Scottsdale, and Online in AZ
Thankfully, you don’t have to walk that journey on your own. Set up a consultation today, and together we’ll start rebuilding the trust in your relationship. We are happy to answer any questions you may have about counseling for couples dealing with financial infidelity. Our team of caring therapists offers a 20-minute complimentary phone call. You can ask all the questions you have and see if affair recovery at Crossroads Counseling is the right fit for you. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling for a complimentary 20-minute phone consult
- Meet with a couples therapist for infidelity recovery
- Start receiving the support your relationship deserves
Feel free to learn more about our practice by visiting our about page, FAQ, and blog, or read more about our staff members to start finding your best therapeutic fit!
We have offices throughout the Valley of the Sun including Phoenix, Anthem, and Scottsdale. Feel free to call contact us at by calling 623-680-3486, texting 623-688-5115, or emailing info@crossroadsfcc.com.
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