Children form attachments from a very early age with parents and caregivers. The attachments formed in childhood will shape how they grow up, including how they see themselves and the world.
A child’s attachment style will also influence their relationships in the future. That’s why it’s so important to foster a secure attachment right away with your child. Insecure attachments can cause issues like low self-esteem, toxic relationship patterns, and a lack of trust.
Thankfully, it’s easier than you might think to form a strong attachment. If you love and care for your child and want to meet their needs, you’re already on the right track. But, a few additional steps to foster a secure attachment with your child can make a world of difference when it comes to their future.
Be Present and Available
There’s no denying that we live in a busy, fast-paced world. However, if you’re not making enough time for your child or you’re not fully present when you’re around them, you could be harming your attachment.
Even when your child isn’t demanding attention, give it. That doesn’t mean you need to be at their beck and call every second of the day. It means that you should be willing to give them all of your attention sometimes. Set aside time each day without distractions to have a conversation, or to play. Be mindful of your schedule so you can prioritize this time with your child, and you might be surprised how strong your connection becomes.
Validate Their Feelings
Children who grow up with insecure attachment issues might have a hard time with emotional regulation. They might not even fully understand their own emotions.
As a parent or caregiver, it’s essential to make sure your child knows that their feelings are valid, no matter what. It’s your responsibility to help your child understand and name their emotions, so they can eventually learn how to cope and regulate them in healthy, effective ways.
Emotional invalidation teaches children that not all emotions are “okay,” and that simply isn’t true. Every emotion is valid, it’s just a matter of expressing them the right way.
Be Consistent
Children thrive on routine and consistency. You don’t necessarily need to do the same things every day. But, your child needs to know that they can rely on you. They need to be able to believe what you say and know that you’ll follow through on things.
Consistency also needs to happen when you’re setting rules and boundaries. Clearly communicate those boundaries to your child and explain the consequences. If a line is crossed, make sure you follow through on those consequences. Your child might not like it at the time, but they will learn that you mean what you say, and that provides a sense of security even when discipline is involved.
Provide a Safe Environment for Exploration
A secure attachment doesn’t mean you have to box your child in. Instead, let them explore and let their curiosity come through. Take an interest in the things they like and encourage them to dig deeper into their hobbies. When they feel safe enough to do those things, it helps them foster greater self-esteem while knowing that you care enough about them to be interested and to remain present.
So much of building a secure attachment comes from strong communication. Be open with your child and encourage them to talk to you as often as possible. Open communication, especially as they get older, will help them in so many areas of life.
If you find that you’re struggling with any of these practices or need help fostering communication within your family, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Taking the next step toward building a secure attachment can start today.
Get Connected
If you are looking for attachment-based therapy in Phoenix, Scottsdale, or online in Arizona we can help. Call Crossroads at 623-680-3486,text 623-688-5115, or email info@crossroadsfcc.com. You can ask all the questions you have and see if attachment-based therapy at Crossroads is the right fit for you. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
- Contact Crossroads Counseling
- Meet with a attachment-based therapist
- Begin your journey towards secure attachment
